Change

     The definition of change in the dictionary is (make or become different) I've always wanted to change many things about myself but I always found a way to distract myself from actually doing anything but now I want to take charge and CHANGE. My psychology teacher was giving a lecture about the biological clock and she started speaking about how when you're in your twenties you either are happy with your self or just plain miserable  and that is how your life will be, it will be based on your happiness in your 20's. I have 2 months left till I turn 20 and that's a short amount of time to change but I want to change my prospective of how I see life 'cause honestly I am not the happiest person here and where I live is not the most helpful place to change either, that is why I started this blog I want to share stuff write and practice on my writing 'cause it needs to get better since English is a second language for me. Well  the things I's like to change are :



Physical Changes

• Weight - I am currently 56kg (123.459 ) as calculated on google haha. I want to change my weight not because I think I'm fat although my parents do remind me of my weight everyday, I want to lose weight for my self I'd love to look good in a tight dress or any old jeans I used to own.

• Skin care - I'd love to have a clear face, who wouldn't ? but I've been going to a dermatologist to help with my acne and I'll be posting sometime later of what products I use my face hasn't cleared yet but I'm hoping by time everything will be ok.

• Eyebrows - I want to find the right shape !!! I've tried three shapes haha it's so funny talking about eyebrows and shapes 'cause mine are thick but very straight, every time I try to change them they just don't respond.

Personal (Inner) whatever it is called Changes 

• Listening - I love talking I can go on and on about something silly that has happened to me or something I've done technically I'm not talking about me I'm talking about what happened to me. Win!! no no other than talking about my adventures with juicing an apple, I'm really into juicing now so I'm mixing vegetables with fruits to not taste the vegetables so far so good soo this kinda proves my point about talking too much when I'm supposed to be asking about the person in front of me and listening to them I feel selfish and self centred when I do this and I'd like to stop.

• Patience - i'd like to start being patient and not get angry that much, life is not worth it anger is not gonna help me accomplish anything 

• Seeing the good rather than the bad - I sound like a horrible person but the bad always covers the good, it always starts with seeing the good in a person then a week later I learn some of the habits that they have that I might not like what they do  ( I shouldn't not like a habit someone has it's them it's who they are ) many people don;t like a lot of things that I do ... I don't know I just want to become peaceful, happy and accepting.

• Intelligence - I want to enhance my vocabulary, read more books ( I joined a book club  so oh, so smart) 

• Letting go (of the past) - forgetting the stupid things I've done the mistakes, I regret so much that it eats me up inside. The worst thing about making mistakes or doing anything stupid is that it is never forgotten by the people around you they will never forget who you are or who they think you are, I hate that I have to be reminded of the things I've done every single day. I should cut loose many of them to start a new book a new chapter in my life a better one something to be proud of but I'm still living in the same place and the same college you'd think it's a big one but it isn't. I know everyone and they know me, I would like to travel start a new life somewhere else and I hope to do it when I get my masters degree or a summer course abroad it's just really hard living here.

• Forgiving - I've read so many articles about forgiving others but you should learn how to forgive yourself before forgiving others. I don't forgive myself easily because it's just hard for me I'll learn I hope.

• Letting things get to you - Well that's what I do I know it has to do with everything I wrote above but I should toughen up (grow up) just 'cause your parents called you fat doesn't mean you have to go back to your room and cry eat a whole box of fruity pebbles, no ! go work out do something about it but don't let them effect you (talking to myself ) well I do cry a lot that's a problem for the future haha who ever will be stuck with me get ready for the waterworks .

I have lots more to change but I'm human I make mistakes I hope I can change become a better person give out the positive and throw the negative away. Love more Hate less just live freely.